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    April 01

    時好時壞的三月

    已經有一個多月沒有更新這裡了,但原因並不是懶。
     
    在開學沒多久後的某個中午,我夢到校園廁所燒學生事件,在夢的同時,我突然想到:「為什麼我有能力去作這樣的夢,卻要把自己留在一個墮落的人生裡呢?」當下我好像是重生一般,頓時從黑暗中走了出來。
     
    可悲的是,這個重生只支持了我短短一個星期,不死鳥遇上海神波賽頓,終究得熄滅身上的燄火,司兄的生活文章,這樣徹底的打穿了我。那時跟雨的對談,每每都能將痛苦舒解,可是沒過多久,尤其是又碰上了段考,就又陷入苦痛的困境。
     
    有時候是勇猛的山羊,有時候是懦弱的綿羊。這是我這幾天想到能給自己最好的形容詞,想在空虛的心靈上充滿上進心,就像是在沒有地基的土地上蓋高樓;也許真的很難甚至沒辦法成功吧,每個人的夢想都是無限擴張的理想,只有我是求得那麼一點小幸福。
     
    離學測只剩下五十天的時間,我卻還在這陰情不定的心靈裡打混,已經受夠了,求求你們,我體內的雙胞胎,別再躲在角度畫圈圈。

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    George Lauwrote:
    一點點的幸福...
    可能眨眼間...已被帶走...
    只有信心不會被帶走...
    May 3

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