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    May 14

    Mother's Day

    明天是母親節,壓根兒沒那心情去參拜,燒什麼香,追什麼思,感恩個屁,跟本就不應該讓我留下來…不,跟本就不該有我的出現。
     
    陰歷生日與母親節合在一塊,十八歲生日,該死的十八,為什麼就得過這個生日,該死的日子,為什麼就得活得這麼痛苦,只不過想過個單純的小幸福,有這麼困難嗎?每天所面對的人事物,所有虛偽的表面,金錢操縱的世界,不厭煩嗎?單純一點不是很好嗎。
     
    好想要有個妹妹啊,好希望有個了解彼此的人待在身邊,已經覺得無聊了,痛苦、快樂、快樂、痛苦,不斷重返著,沒有進步的人生,什麼勵志書,什麼陰影是種力量,什麼年青人的生活藍圖,我看到了自己,卻是看到一種達不到的渴望,怎麼沒哪本書告訴人們去過單純的生活,去享受白色的潔淨。
     
    真希望這一天,不是母親節,是兒童節,不是我拿著香,是妳跪著拜我,為什麼不多生一個?神明的祈禱跟本就是幌子,多麼誠心的祈求,得到什麼,什麼都沒得到,現在該怎麼辦?每天抽煙喝酒過死日子嗎?還是錢滾錢詐耍詐的賣弄人生?如果都拒絕,那人生還剩下什麼…

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